THIS IS ME…
I’m a rebel, a lover, an artist & a badass coach.
Who I Am As a Transformational Life & Business Coach and Singer/Songwriter
If life came with a manual I wouldn’t read it, I’m a rebel. I have always been a rebel. I have been a rebel before I knew what a rebel was. I go against the grain. I am the black sheep. I am the square peg in the round whole and I wouldn’t change me for the world. I help others become courageous because I’ve been being courageous my entire life. I know that confidence is a by-product of courage and I help others become more courageous than they have ever been before. I have cultivated the skill of being vulnerable, honest and in profound acceptance of myself and others. It’s my mission to help people learn to love them self as a foundation for bringing their deepest desires to fruition.
I am a second generation coach. My father is one of the pioneers of the coaching industry having worked with Werner Erhard and EST. I fell in to coaching almost by accident. Though the apple really doesn’t fall far, so who are we kidding? I was destined to become a brilliant coach. I did my coaching training as a means for my own personal growth in 2013. It was amidst my training program that I realized being a transformational leader through coaching was my path. My journey as a coach has led me to accept myself, it led me to explore who I am at a deeper level. It allowed me to confront the shame I had been carrying. It brought out a wisdom in me that I now share with others in a profound way. I have a tolerance, acceptance and grace with myself more than ever before. This allows me to be fully alive and in so much gratitude for the life I get to live.
I believe the relationship we have with ourself is the most powerful relationship we have in the world.
I teach entrepreneurs, corporate senior executives, their managers and small to medium size businesses to evoke deep self-acceptance and self-love on a personal level. This is the foundation for creating the results we desire. If we could beat ourselves up in to creating the life we wanted, we would have done that already. When people come and work with me it’s often because they are ready to learn how to take full responsibility for their lives. While we may not always be the cause of some of the circumstances in our lives, we are always responsible for how we respond to those circumstances.
I run retreats, I host a bi-monthly lunch for entrepreneurs, I am a public speaker, a workshop facilitator and I work with people 1:1.
As a child I loved to act, sing and dance. I shut all of that down at the age of 13. In October 2017 I embarked on a journey to discover my voice again. In 2018 I recorded my first album entitled 8 Crows. The album is set to release mid-2019. It was incredible bearing my soul in musical form. You can listen to 3 tracks off 8 Crows here. In February 2019 I began working on my second album which will feature a more urban vibe and hip-hop beats. I’m very excited about continuing to discover myself as a singer/songwriter and hip-hop artist.
Before I became a coach I was a production manager for the online gambling industry’s leading news website CalvinAyre.com. I traveled the world managing film crews, models, hosts and 6-figure budgets producing videos of conferences, parties and industry icons. Before I was a production manager I was an account executive with Scott Thornley + Company, one of Toronto’s top boutique advertising agencies. And before that, I ran my own direct sales business running dozens of employees to do mall promotions, door-to-door and business-to-business sales.
I am a single Mama to my son, born in 2012 and my daughter, born in 2014. My children are the light of my life and I am so grateful for the crazy ride that is motherhood.
Though I’m not actively teaching, I also hold a certification as a Yin Yoga Teacher.
My Story, Some of My Life Experiences & How I’ve Come Alive
I was born downtown Vancouver, BC to ‘hippie’ parents and an older sister. I was born and raised vegetarian. My mother is British and my father is from Nova Scotia. After meeting on the side of the road on the island of Menorca in Spain, they eventually made their home on the West Coast and never looked back.
I came alive as a child when lip syncing to the Pointer Sisters and Madonna in my living room with my sister. I loved playing dress up, acting, pretending and being totally out there! My passion was with the water, while swimming and challenging myself to see how long I could hold my breath or hold a handstand underwater. I used to love diving to the bottom of the pool only to springboard myself back up or dive for something that had sunk whether someone through it in on purpose or not. I loved anyone gave me attention, I loved attention as a child. In grade 3, I was cast as Peter Pan in Peter Pan and thus began my love affair with the arts and attention.
As a child, my older sister never wanted me around. When she was 3.5 years old and my Mother went in to labour with me, my sister was given a chaperone, a pack of chiclets and a colouring book while in the hospital waiting room waiting for me to arrive. She remembers thinking ‘Why can’t I just be in the room? Why are they excluding me?’. So she sort of made it her mission to make sure I knew she didn’t want me around. She shared with me once that the first time she held me she was not in admiration rather disgust, she couldn’t wait to give me back and she wanted nothing to do with me. Later she would go on to try to convince me that I was adopted. She pried my fingers off of a ladder to our playhouse so that I couldn’t join her and my cousin. We argued and fought like cats and dogs constantly. It wasn’t until I was 14 and her 17 that we sort of became actual friends. Then she went off to college.
One of the struggles at home growing up was that my Father travelled at least 50% of the time, sometimes more. Leaving my Mother alone with two daughters who couldn’t get along. My Mom wasn’t very social and didn’t have a lot of friends or family around to support her so she would often complain to my sister and I about the challenges and I in hindsight I think I may have taken that on at an early age and created a desire and longing to ‘fix’, this later showed up in my romantic relationships.
We moved around a lot, I went to 9 different schools growing up. If I wanted friends I had to learn how to make them. Sometimes I think this meant sacrificing or not looking at all of who I was, who I am. I never really put ‘roots’ down anywhere with no where really to call ‘home’. Throw in being a lifelong vegetarian and I was definitely an outcast at times.
I am super talented at relating to people. I can make friends and connections easily and with almost no effort. I’m starting to learn that I have a voice, that I can sing and that I may be a talented singer/songwriter. I used to be really good at smoking weed and partying - dancing, drinking, watching sunrises - although this talent has started to diminish over the years, it’s definitely a part of who I am. In October 2018 I went sober and have been so liberated by not needing anything, one of the most freeing feelings I have ever experienced.
My greatest gift is my compassion, my empathy and my ability to practice profound acceptance. I have an endless amount of energy for personal growth, my own or others. I have an endless amount of energy for intriguing, thought-provoking conversation. I have an endless amount of energy for music and all that goes with it - singing, dancing, listening. I’ve been told and I believe I am a really good Mum - I think that is a gift and a talent. I don’t necessarily have an endless amount of energy for it though and find it is also my biggest source of growth through challenge.
One of the unique values I bring to the world is intelligence, innovation and success, unconventionally to the world that thinks too acclaimed for academia. That’s a fancy way of saying I fucking sucked in the conventional school system. And not because I’m stupid. I think I am a rather intelligent individual actually. And I never did post-secondary education. I barely graduated high school, although I received a high school diploma my way of acquiring it is different that anyone I’ve ever met. At the age of 16, in grade 10 I failed school miserably. I was snorting speed and shooting whiskey in the bathroom before 1st period at just after 7 in the morning. I walked around graphic design class so drunk I almost fell over. I hated school. So I convinced my parents to let me work with an educational consultant and move to Mexico by myself for grade 11, at 16 years old. This educational consultant was on the board of a high school in California so granted high school credits for classes taken abroad or self-taught. So I took off early September of 1998 and went to San Miguel de Allende, MX for 11 months by myself. I took photography, silversmithing, Spanish and homeschooled myself in my English, Math & Science. I did the same thing the following year on the Island of Kauai - working part time at a smoothy stand and barely doing my studies on the side. I did graduate, I got a diploma from a school I had never even set foot in. I started working right away out of high school and by the age of 20 I had incorporated my own business and was running a group of sales people in door-to-door sales making almost 6 figures at 20 years old. I went door-to-door for over 3 years. What I bring to the world through these unique experiences and upbringing is that you can be unconventional and still be successful. Success doesn’t have a formula or a postal code or hair colour. What I bring uniquely to the world is the possibility that you can do something in a way that no one else has and it can work. It’s got to be genuine, it’s got to be resonant and it can work!
What I wouldn’t want anyone to know about me and what I’ve carried the most shame about my life goes back to when I was 18 I started dating a guy that I would end up spending 2.5 years with. In that relationship he told me that he’d murdered 2 people. Well, he had shot 2 people and in fact never found out if the first victim had survived the gunshot or not. He grew up in the projects and was from a single-mom, immigrant home. They were gang related shootings. I always wondered if I should have tried to create justice for those victims knowing what I knew. Though other than his word, I had no proof or further insight. When I was 19 I got pregnant with this man’s baby. I contemplated whether or not to keep it for about 15 minutes and was so clear and certain that I would have an abortion and I did. 2 years later, I repeated this same mistake, I got pregnant with this man’s baby again! I thought how stupid of me to have made the same mistake twice. Why hadn’t I learned from the first experience? I had another abortion. I was laid up on the couch for two weeks after that, fading in to a smoke cloud of marijuana. I was so emotional I remember the World Wildlife Federation having an infomercial and I was so saddened and moved from the show that I called in and started donating $20/month. I was so depressed. I finally got up the courage and stepped out of that relationship, never to return. This evoked a strength in me that I didn’t know I had. I’ve done a lot of work around the abortions, it’s still hard sometimes. What was also deeply painful was when through coaching, I realized I had been unconsciously calling myself a murderer for 15 years! I’ve stopped doing that now and I accept my choices and all the darkness and all the beauty that has arisen from them.
The dark side of my brilliant gifts are that I am an escapist. I avoid, run, hide, medicate, retreat, withdraw, shut down, close off and basically just leave some times. Times when things are challenging, times when things are hard, times when I know another will hurt or I will hurt. I numb out. I drink, I smoke and I used to do a lot of drugs. The dark sides of my gifts are that I don’t have to nurture myself if I’m nurturing others. By being so out there and such a people person I sometimes miss the value in being still, slowing down, listening and receiving. I barely let myself receive. I have unconscious gender bias’. I have unconscious bias about a lot of things in this world. I come from privilege and abundance and yet sometimes still find ways to ‘struggle’.
If I was given a billion dollars (after all the shopping, new homes, private jets and vacations) I would use the money to create a facility (and later franchise it) where homeless could come, live, work, play, rehab and create new lives. I would invest in renewable resources, automation, sustainability and anything else that would pay homage and rejuvenate mother earth. I would open (and later franchise) organic, healthy fast food - drive throughs and all. I would mainstream sustainable, healthy and local eating in a fast food world.
If you found your way here and you read all this way. We definitely need to have a conversation.